I don’t suppose I should expect anyone to read this anymore considering many of you have probably made the occasional visit over the last couple of months only to find that nothing has changed. Well, something has changed. Anyway…

Last week, after a stinking-long day at work, I came home to the surprise that my most recent music purchase had finally come in the mail–Sufjan Steven’s “Greetings from Michigan.” The man is an amazing musical genius. Anyhow, “Michigan” was Steven’s first entry into his ambitious 50 States project. So, as I do with all my new musical investments, I started my own private listening party of my new CD–I pull out the liner notes and read along with the lyrics as I listen to the album from beginning to end. It wasn’t until I reached track number 3 that I found my current favorite song, “For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti.”

The very last line of the song reads, “I did everything for you.” When my eyes came upon this phrase–and I could hear Steven’s and his accompanying vocalists singing it repeatedly in the background–something inside just fell apart. My eyes began to swell and tear up. It was as if God was singing to me at that moment and all I could think about was how crappy my relationship with Him has been as of late, despite all of the wonderful things He as done for me. I think of all the times I’ve said, “I’m sorry,” only to make the same mistake again and again. I wonder why he even bothers with me sometimes. He did everything for me… but why?