Rants


…SEA-DOO! Anyone else remember that commercial? …No? They used to play it all the time on The Weather Channel about 10 years ago? Still not ringing a bell? Hmph. Oh well.

I miss Opryland. Yes, “Opryland” still exists as a hotel and such, but I’m talking about the theme park. Most of you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. You see, before the evil Opry Mills existed, there stood a very decent theme park in it’s place. No, it wasn’t of Disney caliber, but it was way better than that sorry excuse for a Six Flags–Kentucky Kingdom.

Have you ever been sitting at work (or anywhere else) just going about your business when you suddenly realize that you have a big, dumb smile on your face? Not that there’s anything wrong with smiling, it’s just an odd thing to realize. I mean, you’re just sitting there thinking about something happy, but to everyone else there is no apparent reason for your smiling. Am I making any sense?

I remember that during my first few months of driving (when I had my learning permit) I was terrified of other cars on the road. I would take less-traveled roads just so I could avoid coming in contact with other vehicles. I’m totally comfortable now, but I’ve realized that we, as drivers, are way more trusting in others (and in God) than we may realize. Think about it… Why am I so comfortable going 55 MPH in a 2-ton box of steel, all the while, passing other 2-ton boxes of steel, going in the opposite direction, and coming within just a few feet of colliding with me? So, just remember, if you ever think that your faith in God has become weak, go for a drive.

I bought a book. I don’t read books often. It’s called “Before You Leap” by Kermit the Frog. It was in the “Self-Improvement” section at B&N. It’s pretty good so far. Did you know he was in the banjo club in high school? Oh, Kermy…

I did absolutely nothing today. I really should have done some laundry. Shoot.

  • Craig Ferguson is underrated and very funny. Granted, he’s no Conan, but is still quite entertaining.
  • “I’m going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir.” “Understandable!!”
  • Has “Ziggy” ever been funny? I mean, anyone that knows me knows that I love puns–but Ziggy’s aren’t even good… or bad. You know what I mean.
  • It was essentially my first time out alone in the Black Friday frenzy… and I survived. I got some crazy-good deals this morning at Best Buy–a humongous 22-inch LCD monitor. It’s beautiful. What? Don’t look at me like that. Besides food, gas, and a few bills, I rarely spend more that a new-CD’s-worth on myself. So what if I splurged a little?
  • We all need to get together and have a screening of “It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie.” It has some awesome Pepe moments. If you don’t already love Pepe the King Prawn, it’s only a matter of time.
  • My nephew was born a year ago on Christmas day. He’s an awesome little dude. I have the feeling–as far as gifts go–it’s gonna be all about him this Christmas morning. He’s so spoiled, but he’s gonna become a big brother in March, so he’ll have to start sharing the attention.
  • “Productivity is important… but how can I be productive if I have this one little thing in my brain that I cannot get out? And that one little thing is a soft pretzel.” ~Michael Scott
    I have a proverbial “soft pretzel” in my head right now, and I need to do something about it before it’s too late.

More to come… perhaps.

Have you ever learned a strange, new fact and suddenly it seems everyone is talking about it? Or, have you ever extended your vocabulary with a new word and then start hearing it used constantly? Why is this? Has it always been common knowledge but never noticed until I actually learned it myself?

Anyway, the reason I mention this is that I recently learned that the human nose and ears never stop growing. Since that time, I’ve heard this fact mentioned three other times! Is this a new scientific finding or was I just left out of the loop? Who cares, really? It’s the least of my worries. Now I’m more concerned about how enormous my nose is going to be in 30 years.

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

I had never heard this quote until recently. As I let those words sink in, I came to this ironic conclusion: The very people commissioned to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ are the main reason it is often unaccepted by non-believers.

It’s not what you did.
No, that’s not the issue at hand.
It’s all in how you did it.
A blade of ambition in the back.

Not just my back, but many.
Backs, that if you looked,
Have their own faces, hearts, and feelings.
All of which were no concern of yours.

But who cares, right?
You’re the boss… the king!
What you say goes.
No place for democracy.

But power is your problem.
Like most kings, you want more.
You slowly dissolve the kingdom,
Hoping to soon rule another.

So while you close down the castle,
And set up your new palace,
We loyal subjects of the Kingdom
Will continue our work for the One true King.

Maybe he used to be… but no longer.  That is all.

Okay, not really, but I still fell pretty special nonetheless. Sure, they may not be the most well-known band in the world, but when it's your favorite band that mentions you in their blog, who cares? Well, I think it's cool. You can check it out here. I won't hold it against Peter that he misspelled my name.

Speaking of that, why do so many people not know how to spell Michael? I'm sure there's a few out there, but I've never actually met a "Micheal" before. It's a biblical name that been around for thousands of years, not to mention that it's one of the most popular names in the past half-century. I think more people know how to spell my last name than my first. Oh well.

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